Iam really moving fast cause I had gone past the time I tell myself I should be home. I see this figure, very still in a dark bushy place and as I am trying to figure out whether it is a person or something, the thing moves and zips it's fly! 'phew, it is just a guy peeing on the road side!". by this time I am close to him, he is going in the same direction I am. Dude feels like he should throw a word, I think he is one of those guys who feel they should say something every time they see a girl, and I mean it is 10:30 in a dim lit road just the two of us. "size yange, nga oyanguwa?" oh pliz not 'size yange', man those things dont go down well with me...and I remember just in bible study someone said if those men say something wierd,just laugh in there face. No I wasnt about to that, I told him to go and sleep and dude took offence so I anwered back,"that is why you pee on the road side!"...mmh things were not nice but his last word was,"why do you take offense when we say our desires, that is what you were created for!". Dude, stop just there, oh please not that line of thought, I just cant bear it! Is that all am here for?
In that line anyway, I have been doing those tests of 'get to know yourself'', I did a temeprament test and realised that I am a choleric-phlegmatic-sanguine! wierd though when may sister did it she concluded I am choleric-phleg! So on the compassionate characteristic,I had rated myself 3 and she said I am not compassionate atall, so she gave me a one!....whatever, It wont take me to heaven anyway. Now there is this other test I did in one of the old issues of 'Africanwoman'. I t was about 'how interesting you are' and I discovered that that thing thinks Iam bored to tears and have second rated opinions! Can you imagine. No Iam not bored to tears! I will not do those tests man, they underestimate me!

just a few thoughts

I was in choir practice just sometime ago and someone shared about the spiritual realm focusing mostly on the demons, how the devil tries to steal how prayers and stuff,.... yeah it seems an interesting topic but I guess not just for me. Lately I have come to accept that some things are not for me. I have come to a place where it is just my God and I, my relationship with him above everything else. I don't want to focus on the evil when the good will do me 'great'. "A friend of mine posted an update,'How can I love the moon when I have seen the sun!", and I guess that is my view on the dark side. I know it is there but I dont focus on it, my focus is on my God.

Lately i have been in a no action mode. At the beginning of this year I was so excited about a number of things. I thought I really got the direction God wants me to take with my career and stuff( which I still do btw), and I was so excited and vigilant about everything that would be connected to it, and now I am kinda there. In a swing or not in the swing. I know God will bring these things to pass cause He put these desires in me, but I am in the low mode JHC, this is the time when I am thinking of the reality of seriously how am I going to even achieve these things? I dont have resources nor do I know people an this is the killer, I dont think I even have skill. Now that is how bad things can get. In a situation when "If He doesnt make a move, you cannot move". It is either Him or Him. but onething I have been encouraged about these things that are not straight on office jobs but creative, it takes time and it can lead to despair at times. There are those moments when you will always think 'why didnt I go for a white collar job?'. but basically I am patient in the Lord, that is all I can say. I know I have a year to leave uni, and I cant promise that by then things will be okay, but ' He leads, I follow!"