commitment, Responsibility: the problem of growing up

I guess what makes growing up so hard is commitment! Commiting to yo work, yo friends and eventually yo spouse.

Earlier on in the month i got a mid year crisis! ;-) not because i had nor fulfilled most of my resolution but it had struck me that i might stop and run as fast as my feet could carry me.

Paul was right, when u are young you think,act and speak like a child. When i was growing up, i never worked at anything! Things found me where i was, friends looked for me. You see i was a bright kid, i never had to read! But now everything seems to be for working at! I have work at my friendships,(i have quite a few of the old) , my studies, my dreams, my God, and even being me! You might think am exagerating but i once broke up with a dude just because i feared pipo calling me his girlfriend, then i will have to step with my communication issues and stuff, and one day he gave me an excuse. He said i meet his mother!!! That was it. I run, very fast just after a month! :-/

Things got worse when i had to work at my relationship with God. Yes i made up excuses until when i found myself in the earlier talked about mid year crisis!
My word for the year is vulnerable and so far its been hard.
To be vulnerable is to depend, give all, feel all. Its to open yourself to everything and anything! Bottom line being vulnerable is just not me.
But he'd given me this word, i had to follow through!

I have a friend helping me out with conceptualising the fashion shop business, and today i got a panic attack! Wat if it is just a phase? What if i just up and run? What if it aint my happy everafter?
You see the bad thing about telling pipo yo dreams, is that you will be reminded everytime. Ever in your face!;->

I have learnt commitment is learned. It is a decission. Commitment is the essense of love. Un commitment is not freedom!

Today i listened to Daniel in the den of lions. It is funny that the story talks less about him in the den,but more about the before and after!
Dan had decided before the incident(precided) that the Lord God of Abraham is his God. When the decree was made, he still did the same as everyday(pray three times a day). They dont tell whether he trembled or not, whether he was scared or not and trust me,he was! But he had precided it will be his God whatever the sitiation!