If my life were a song

If my life were song, it would surely let out more emotion than I can show on my own.

It would run really deep, singing about that which gives me deepest joy, awful sorrow, or a terrible numbness.

The notes would be filled with my timid-ness, ever present shyness that I mask by being a badass ninja!

It would tell about my friends, who I never really communicate with but have my back all the time. It would sing about the ones who are for the moment, like my friend for Orchestra concerts, or the one for pork! It would sing about my fall back friends, who regardless of when we last talked, we can always pick up from where we left off! It would elaborate on the unbearable ones, or the ones who I love dearly but never return the favor and just keep on taking me for granted.

It would surely let out more than I could ever be able to in a lifetime.

It would talk about my aspirations. They would keep changing that at a point the listeners will exclaim at my change of heart! It would tell of how I want to travel the world, be a hands and feet to all the busy people who want to make a change in the hearts of women and children in need around the world. It would sing of my passion for fashion and modeling. It would tell of my love for singing, which up to now I have failed to do something about!

It would tell of my deepest fear, it would let on about my fear of not being enough, of my fear of losing my faith and that of being too skinny. It would tell about my uncertainty with what the future holds but most all it would let out my fear of not being a light for him! I fear I may be too comfortable to make a difference.

I've been told my easy going-ness will surely lead many to God, but sometimes I am skeptical about that. Conversations about God have never come up in those model classes except when they are making very blasphemous comments about Him. I never even defend him in such moments and this is very unbearable and causes me so much discomfort. Yet Christ has given each of us grace according to his apportionment (Ephesians 4:7). I am certain whatever my part in the body is I am living it and as a whole, the body is being a light.

My light might be in my loud laughter, or in the fact that I do not advice the models to showcase in clubs, it could be in my easy going-ness as quite a number have of friends have said! However subtle it is, it is my little light. Though i may sometimes doubt it, it is still giving light, giving hope, reaching out!

If my life were a song, it would sing of how a young skinny girl with a spring in her step led her people home!